After two years in Europe, going back to American once, seeing relations and friends navigate the differences between the two countries, I am finally ready to tell you the real difference between the two mindsets, and the two continents. Are you ready? (It’s in the title, so you better be.)
First, the obligatory disclaimer. Obviously I am going to be making some blanket statements about two entire continents, and things vary over region, culture, and income level. This is what I have noticed in my time here, and in the reactions of my friends and family. I have friends here who are more on the American side of this, and European friends who are the opposite.
Now, back to it: some people say the difference is health care, some say walkability. Some say it’s the higher focus on the environment here in Europe, some people say it’s a slower pace of life. (All of these are true.)
But the real, true difference?
It’s ease.
Look, I’m American, and I can tell you from just looking at my own life that I will do ALMOST ANYTHING if it makes my life easier. Ease is one of the first things I look for, and one of the first things I try to find. Throw out all the trash together and not recycle? Easy. Drive half a mile to the store? Easy.
And I think ease is the real reason why Amazon flourishes in America, but struggles in Europe. (Ok, it doesn’t struggle, it’s still Amazon. But it’s slower, less efficient, and far less used.) Americans use it because it has everything they need there, all the prices, all the reviews, and it delivers in three days or less. See? It’s SO easy.
I realized, on our last trip to Croatia….. well, the trip was amazing, so let’s take a break for some pictures.
Anyway, picture dump behind us, I realized that despite all the beautiful scenery and time with family on our vacation, that the things that made our trip feel like a vacation were the normal, everyday hard things here in Europe that I didn’t have to worry about anymore. For example, we stayed in several Airbnbs and one hotel on the way back. The Airbnbs mimic home (hello to their catchphrase, living local!) but the hotel did not.
Do you know what needs to be done at Airbnbs that doesn’t need to be done at hotels?
You have to follow the local trash guidelines. Each place we stayed had at least three different trash bins, and often four: bio, plastic, trash, paper, all labeled in their own specific language, all with slightly different requirements.
Sure Krka’s waterfalls were gorgeous, and the ocean was fantastic, but the real, true moments that made me feel like I was on vacation were these: staying in a hotel and throwing absolutely everything I needed to throw away in the trash can, all together, not thinking and not worrying about where it was going, if it was going to be recycled, and if I should have made it trash in the first place.
And at our place in Croatia, being able to turn on the air conditioning on a hot day, just having the power to push that one simple button and to completely change the air around me.
Even though the air conditioning is what felt like a vacation, we are now broken in, true Europeans, and we used it only when we were absolutely sweating and only when we were home. But the other born and bred Americans around us just kept it on, night and day, whether they were home or not. And why not? You see, it’s easy. Why be hot if you don’t have to be? Why sort trash if you don’t have to? Why walk if you can drive?
This is the difference I see with the Americans who move here verses the Europeans who have always lived here, these are the comments I hear from new expats who come in. It’s HARD to live here. There are things we have to think about, to do, that Americans would never even have to consider. (Our bank JUST introduced a new app where we can pay bills and such online.)
I am not here to write a post glorifying Europe, and Europeans. Their resistance to ease has often and widely made my life VERY difficult. (Hello opposite of ease, after all.) We have one tiny parking spot for our one tiny car, which means that on our road trips, we are absolutely shoved in.
If there is a choice between doing things online or in person here, in person wins almost every time. And heaven help you if your child or you gets sick on a weekend, because pharmacies aren’t open and doctors don’t take calls.
Truly, I adore ease, and it has been something that I have sorely missed. And it has a practical function too, especially for people who are chronically ill, families with small children, and other groups that really don’t have the time to put other priorities first (sometimes you just really do just need to throw out a garbage bag full of just diapers).
But it’s also gotten me to think about this American idea of ease, and the beliefs that are at the root of it; the idea that things shouldn’t be hard, that we deserve to make things simple, and that if we have extra money it should go into making things easier for ourselves.
And despite my two years here, I know I haven’t quite learned the lesson. Most of the things I want to do with my money are things that will make things less difficult for me. (And I justify it well! Giving myself ease in areas of my life gives me time to do other things that are more important to me, and sometimes I think that’s worth it.)
But I hope, also, that I am learning Europe’s lesson: that there are more things to worry about than just what is easy; that it is equally important who my ease is affecting (in terms of buying practices and giving people days off), what my ease is affecting (the landfills full of plastic in the dump and the electricity drain of an air conditioner), and that sometimes, and maybe even often, it’s ok to let ease go and do a little more work, or to be a little uncomfortable, in order to focus on more important things.
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